We're at an awkward point here in the MTC. Most of us can have a decently simple conversation in Japanese. Our answers to questions in class are in Japanese now. I'm feeling really good. Everyday I'm learning something new, and whenever I do I feel like it opens a hundred doors for me to express myself through. I think I'll be okay.
This is dangerous.
It's way hard to not think: Hmm. I'm teaching this lesson right now in Japanese. I'm reading scriptures in Japanese. I can write Sacrament talks in Japanese. Why am I still here? I could be in Japan doing all these same things.
I'm at an awkward stage at the MTC where I think I know a lot, but I have no idea how much I don't know. If a missionary is here for two weeks, it's easy to stay humble the whole time and enter the field humble. Don't get me wrong every missionary is sufficiently prepared. But the missionaries that have been here for two weeks have absolutely no seniority. Nearly everyone here has been here longer than they have. These missionaries don't get cocky, they don't boss other people around, and they barely have time to get to know everyone let alone feel adequate enough to give advice to others. However, a missionary that has been at the MTC for nine weeks has met native speakers and been prepped on the culture. Even though they're at the top of the food chain, the allure of their mission country is constantly on their mind, and they are forever preparing to be prepared for it. As for me, a lowly sister that's been here four weeks, I am cushioned. I am used to the missionary schedule at this point, but Japan is too far away to really think about it. I'm learning at my own pace. I have no one to compare myself too but the missionaries in my district. For the most part, the only Japanese I've heard has come out of the mouths of RMs. As I get more and more comfortable, I get more and more cocky. This is dangerous.
So hopefully next week something tremendously hard will happen and I'll have to be humbled. But this is honestly my general feeling about this week.
I love you guys so much! Can't wait to hear from you next! I'm not worried about not getting the package till Monday. I'll be okay. EXCEPT I kinda bragged to everyone about the pao de queso so..... please send some. I have eleven missionaries in my district. Plus I want to share with Elder Santos and his companion. You do the math. That's all I ask. LOVE YOU!
Oh I love my letters so much! One day I'll take a picture of my awesome desk in my classroom so you can all see the awesome artwork I'm displaying. It's the best. I love you guys. I'm so lucky to have all of you.
See you soon!
Sister Goldsberry
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